You bathed me and brushed me, before I left
They promised you I’d be a well looked after pet.
Five minutes at home and look what they’ve done
Can’t believe where all this dirt comes from!

I went in the garden, I dug a hole
No-one told ME I’d come out black as coal.
Now I suppose I’ll end up in the bath again
Where water pours over me, just like rain.

I was only having a little play
Big sister laughed, said it just wasn’t my day.
Now they’re running the water in that horrible room
Life for me is just doom and gloom.